Ugly Beauty

He had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
And no beauty that we should desire him.(Isaiah 53:2)

He did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped
But emptied himself  by taking the form of a servant. (Phil. 2:6-7)

     As always, Christ changes everything. He showed that a certain kind of ugliness has a beauty of its own. This sprang to my mind as I was talking to the proud father of a newborn baby at our church. Not that he was ugly. In fact, he was glowing with happiness as he raved about his son. He and his wife had decided that she would stay home with Baby Isaiah, so they could give him as much godly influence as possible. Their income would be cut significantly, but the choice was obvious in his mind. My heart stirred with love for this little family, knowing that with that attitude, the years ahead of them were certain to be filled with some of the most beautiful ugliness imaginable.

       When our son came into our lives, our lessons in aesthetics began.  First, without batting an eye, my then-unsaved husband set aside all that he was doing, which included a fair amount of partying, accompanied by some college classes, a DJ job and plans for a career.  He loved that baby boy with his very life. I worked the night shift, so had full days to read and play with this bright and happy boy. But in the evening, I had to tear myself away.  In John's unique way, he then took over parenting duties, fumbling through unfamiliar territory, making sure that little guy ate his green vegetables and  got him into clean jammies. We took the expensive insurance off the flashyTrans Am and left it sitting unused in an empty parking space in the apartment lot.  My husband never complained or even seemed to notice. When I came home from work, at 2 a.m., we had our life together again and that was all that mattered. Everything I cared about was in that little apartment, and I couldn't wait to get back to it. My husband always made me feel like I was the most important person in the world when I came home.  Our parents and our church family helped us immensely, but it was John who gave up his life so we could have our family life. You could see the strength of the bond that God had forged between father and son. When Little John cut his hand at 11 months so badly that he needed stitches, he reached for Daddy and was happiest in his arms at the Emergency Room.  Even though that was hard for me in one sense, I knew even then that very few sons loved their Daddy like my little guy did.  Amid the blood and tears, I knew that God had done something very beautiful in my home.

             In the next two years, sacrifices continued as we let my job go in favor of  John's, so that I could be the one dispensing green beans and overseeing bedtime.  The move meant a severe pay cut, but the benefits ... oh, the benefits. Now there were two babies to teach and cuddle and laugh and love.  Over the decades, living on one income has meant that our houses have never been of the Better Homes and Garden variety, meals have rarely been elaborate. Not related to the money issue,  I have managed the homemaking tasks with great effort and unimpressive results, having never been trained for such jobs. (I still can't shake Marlo Thomas' popular children's jingle, written to indoctrinate little girls to feminism: "Mommies hate housework, Daddies hate housework, and when you grow up, you'll hate housework, too!")   But our home has been filled  with love and laughter and imperfect pictures of self-sacrifice, service, submission to God -- and repentance. Some of the "ugliest" aspects of our life exist because we made choices we believed would glorify Christ and allow us to pass our faith on to our children. The priority for time and money was and remains Christian education, always with the aim to illuminate God in every area of study.  The beauty is hidden, but it is there: in the worn carpet, the second-hand clothes,  as surely as in the children whose foundation we pray is sure and solid. 

      Resurrection Sunday reminds me that all of that hidden beauty will eventually be revealed and all of the  imperfection transformed. All that was left undone will be completed. All that was done poorly will be perfected. And all that was done for the glory of God will shine with a particular brilliance that will last for eternity.

        Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,^{[a] 6} who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,^[b] being born in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ⁹ Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, ¹⁰ so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹ and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.   (Phil. 2:1-11)