Tears of Sorrow ... and Thanksgiving

      I sat with my patient husband and grieved.  My heart ached, and I hadn't seen it coming.  Having them home for the first time since August, these two freshly grown young adults, had flooded my heart with emotions of gratitude and wonder -- the same feelings I'd experienced in the delivery room 20 years earlier. I still cannot believe that the Lord entrusted me with these two precious beings, made in His image.  But when they left again tonight, after only four days at home, it felt like more than I could bear. To have them, to love them so, and then for it to be over. To be without them. Again. The pain, so real, demands to be acknowledged, accepted -- and finally, reluctantly, embraced as the price of all the joy that has been my life for the past 20 years.  I wouldn't change any of it. If I had not enjoyed my children so thoroughly and poured into them so fervently, I wouldn't feel this huge gaping hole in my chest. Thank you, God, for every single minute. And I trust You to use this pain for your good purpose, whatever that may be.