The "Weak" Before Christmas

This year, I was slow to get in the Christmas mode. Most years, the time we call Advent is very sweet. We stop schooling. We make sure that our first decoration up is the manger that my Dad's Dad built. We light the Advent candles as part of our devotions, set out a red-and-green rug and books about Lord Jesus (not just that He was born, but that He died and that He's coming again to those who eagerly await Him) to make a cozy "Christmas Corner." We leave gifts for our family "secret pal," plan a secret good deed for our family to do and host a sweet girls tea party for Leah's friends. I enjoy puttering around craft shows looking for little gifts to mail off to the four families God used in revealing Himself to me. (Mrs. Cannon, The Pecks, The Hansens and the Kleins.) And I also enjoy completing most of my Christmas shopping online and early in the month.
But not this year. High school has meant more responsibility for John, with an online class and debate, so we weren't able to stop schooling. Then our computer suffered a nearly fatal physical memory dump. With the laptop in use for school much of the time, online shopping had been pushed aside. Finally, with our back-to-back trips to the condo, plus cleaning, and the mock debate in Naples in early December, time had just gotten away from me. Before I knew it, it was mid-December. I hadn't had that sweet time of quiet, and I hadn't done anything at all for Christmas.
My first real foray into Christmas was to try to take Leah shopping on Saturday, Dec. 16. This may well have been one of the busiest days of the season. Suddenly, I found myself feeling just the way everybody else does at Christmas: harried, rushed, impatient, anxious, intent on the wrong thing. This is what I had always been so careful to avoid... and now here I was. And worse, here was my child.
That unpleasant reminder of what Christmas is not supposed to be is vivid. And it served to remind me that even my "ideal" Christmas, quiet and peaceful, can become an idol. When I saw that I was behind schedule for a peaceful Christmas, I became agitated and intent on making it happen anyway.
I do not have any answers on this, only a new certainty that it might not be so bad if the to-do list does not get done. If it were completed, it would only make me prideful and more irritated with others. My weakness,which is likely to reveal itself again in myriad ways this season, has already sent me into His arms knowing for certain that He is enough. Jesus is Christmas. That's all there is.

**Oaks of Righteousness: One of the highlights of Jerry's Christmas party for me is to talk with the Kittle family, whose three girls all work and/or intern at Coral Ridge. They have homeschooled them and these are truly beautiful, godly girls. I have seen Sarah grow from a timid intern to a confident producer. Their mom, Lynnette, and I got to sit next to each other, and she told me a bit about her homeschool journey. How encouraging to see how the Lord has helped her to recognize the special gifts of each girl and to guide them in that direction -- a writing talent in one, the video talent in another. Truly these girls can be called "oaks of righteousess, the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified."

**Unexpected Blessings: A man in Starbucks anonymously buying us our coffees; a Russian woman in the elevator at the condo asking me for a ride and telling me that her name, Luba, means "to laugh"; the privilege of sharing the suffering of a cashier named Patsy whose husband died on Christmas Day 11 years ago; a birthday party for an 18-year-old cancer survivor we just met, who I do not think was expected to live to that day; Myana expressing a desire for her own Bible; walking the dog with my son and hearing that he wants to go back to the African mission field more than any Christmas present; appreciating oh, so much, Charlie Brown's smile after Linus tells the Christmas story.

**Hooray for Christmas Corner: Another sweet blessing this year came after we had set up "Christmas Corner." When the kids were small, I found a red-and-green braided rug. I put it in a corner and scattered it with Christmas Story books, toy nativity sets, puppets of Mary and Joseph and the rest, puzzles showing scenes of Jesus' birth, a Mary doll holding baby Jesus. I would always put up a sign that said, "Spend some time with Jesus in Christmas Corner." Well, that tradition stuck. This year, I had brought out the rug, but considering that my children are now both nearly teenagers, I had set up a reading-only Christmas corner. When no one had visited it, I disbanded it and moved the rug under the tree. Leah later asked very sweetly if we could make "Christmas Corner." She suggested a comfy pillow and the Playmobil nativity set. I addd the old children's storybooks of Jesus' birth. I am delighted that Christmas Corner matters to her and most likely always will.